Let me explain to you in plain English how a non-binary person like myself likes to get off.
Forget the boxes. Forget "man" and "woman" and all the expectations that come with them. For me, getting off isn't about playing a role; it's about feeling whole in a body that often feels like a battlefield between what society expects and what I actually am.
My pleasure isn't tied to my genitals in the way you might think. It's tied to sensation. It's about disconnecting my mind from the gendered parts of my body and just experiencing it as a collection of nerves and feelings. I'll start by just touching my arms, my stomach, my legs. Not in a sexual way at first, just reminding myself, "This is my skin. This is me. It doesn't have a gender."
When I do get to the more sensitive parts, it's about exploration, not a destination. I don't think, "I'm a man touching a dick" or "I'm a woman touching a clit." I think, "This is a bundle of nerves that creates a unique and powerful feeling." I use vibrators a lot because the buzz is a great equalizer. It's just pure, overwhelming sensation that scrambles any leftover thoughts about what my body is "supposed" to be. It forces my brain to just *feel*.
My headspace is the most important part. I have to get out of my own way. I'll put on music that feels genderless and powerful, or I'll watch porn that focuses on bodies and pleasure without a lot of dialogue or gendered roles. Sometimes I'll just close my eyes and focus on the abstract, on the waves of pleasure building, because that's the truest thing about me in that moment. Not my gender, not my pronouns, just the feeling.
The orgasm itself is a release of more than just sexual tension. It's a release of the dysphoria, the constant mental negotiation. For a few precious seconds, my body isn't a problem to be solved or a statement to be made. It's just a body, and it feels fucking good. It's a moment of pure, ungendered existence, and that, more than anything, is what gets me off.
Forget the boxes. Forget "man" and "woman" and all the expectations that come with them. For me, getting off isn't about playing a role; it's about feeling whole in a body that often feels like a battlefield between what society expects and what I actually am.
My pleasure isn't tied to my genitals in the way you might think. It's tied to sensation. It's about disconnecting my mind from the gendered parts of my body and just experiencing it as a collection of nerves and feelings. I'll start by just touching my arms, my stomach, my legs. Not in a sexual way at first, just reminding myself, "This is my skin. This is me. It doesn't have a gender."
When I do get to the more sensitive parts, it's about exploration, not a destination. I don't think, "I'm a man touching a dick" or "I'm a woman touching a clit." I think, "This is a bundle of nerves that creates a unique and powerful feeling." I use vibrators a lot because the buzz is a great equalizer. It's just pure, overwhelming sensation that scrambles any leftover thoughts about what my body is "supposed" to be. It forces my brain to just *feel*.
My headspace is the most important part. I have to get out of my own way. I'll put on music that feels genderless and powerful, or I'll watch porn that focuses on bodies and pleasure without a lot of dialogue or gendered roles. Sometimes I'll just close my eyes and focus on the abstract, on the waves of pleasure building, because that's the truest thing about me in that moment. Not my gender, not my pronouns, just the feeling.
The orgasm itself is a release of more than just sexual tension. It's a release of the dysphoria, the constant mental negotiation. For a few precious seconds, my body isn't a problem to be solved or a statement to be made. It's just a body, and it feels fucking good. It's a moment of pure, ungendered existence, and that, more than anything, is what gets me off.
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Swipey
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